You'll Never Believe Me But...

Cutter 0:00
Good evening and only Good evening everyone. My name is Cutter, the you may know me as three bears in the code on air on HD one, and welcome to the very first episode and a new mini series. You'll never believe me, but after dark

note, there will be explicit content within this episode and every episode of You'll never believe me, but after dark, so fair warning, You'll never believe me, but is a storytelling podcast being produced here at WKNC about lying to me, every episode I have a guest on and they tell me two stories, one real and one fake, and I have to decide which is real between them. For those of you that are new here, or for those of you that need a quick refresher, I'm gonna run down the three rules we have here before we get into today's episode. Rule number one, your story should not do significant damage to anyone else or their character. We're not trying to be outwardly mean to anyone other than ourselves. Rule number two, if someone else is featured in the story, you must either have their permission to say their name or use a fake name for them. You agreed to come on the show and tell these stories but unless they agreed to have these stories told just use a fake name. And rule number three, and this is the easiest one all stories should start with. You'll never believe me but and then a brief synopsis before starting the story just so we all know what we're getting into. And as a nice little nod to the show's title. Now, you might be asking, What does afterdark mean? And no, I don't mean literally stories that happened at night, though that has come up a few times and will likely within You'll never believe me but after dark, but it really just means that we're going to tackle more adult themes than we did in season one. I was okay with that, believe me, but I am curious to see if after dark and these more adult stories. So things about sex drinking and drugs and things in that nature that are more taboo can yield any interesting stories, you know, especially as we compare them to see someone. Now this is not a season two of, You'll never believe me. But I need to make that very clear. There is a traditional Season Two of You'll never believe me, but coming along later this year, don't worry, it will be here. But for right now, I'm going to do a mini series, this afterdark mini series, something that I've been thinking about doing for a while we're gonna call this a season one and a half, basically. And it should be a nice little reprieve from the traditional You'll never believe me. But content, yes, it's the same formula. And the same format. And the same me and several guests and lots of crazy stories. And me probably not guessing them, right. But it is a season 1.5 not a season two, it's going to be a shorter run, but it is going to be a great time. If this isn't really your thing. That's okay, it's totally fair to just wait for season two, especially for those of you that are younger, or have younger people around that like to listen, this is an adult version of You'll never believe me, but and every episode will have explicit content in it. I cannot stress that enough. With all of that out of the way. I think since this is the introduction, after all, it's just about time for me to tell my two stories for the second time and you'll never believe me but history, I'm going to go ahead and tell my two stories, one true and one fake that all the guests are going to have to guess between Here we go.

You'll never believe me. But I once had a fling on a cruise on a vacation with a flat earther. And that's, that's true. Like, truly one of the wildest like sequences of events to ever happen to me. So a little bit of background, Summer of 2019 it was the summer after my junior year of high school. My family and another family that we were very close with, took a trip up to Alaska to do an Alaskan cruise for like a week. And we were just gonna, you know, sail it like sail around Alaska. And truly like see the see the sights. And it was I mean, before I get into like, you know the the details of the story that I'm sure people are like more focused on. I just want to say Alaska is beautiful. It's very beautiful place and I absolutely loved it there. But that's not really important. Okay. As mentioned, we were on that cruise for seven days. Right? And he would have been I want to say day five, right? And getting on this cruise I had decided, you know, I decided like day three, day four, because it was an old person cruise ship. Basically what I mean is like there's lounging space, and they were like for ballrooms, and if you were a kid, you had to make your own entertainment. And so, you know, as as an older teenager, I was like, You know what, I'm gonna make my own entertainment. I was like, I'm gonna walk around and see if I can find a cute girl. To talk to you, and that was, that was my, like, motivation, you know, that was what I that was my goal. And so it was like day five of this of this trip. And I was I made a big lap around the cruise ship because there was like a long path, you could walk around to walk around the whole ship. And I walked down one little, you know, one side of the ship, and I saw, hey, cute girl sitting alone in on a little bench, like looking out over the water. I was like, that's great. That's awesome. And I was like, You know what, when I get up there, I'm gonna walk up to her, and I'm gonna say hi. And then I walked straight past, like, not even didn't even stop. And so in my head, I was like, you know what you've got to get, like, you just got to gather information. Step one, is is recon. Step two is the approach. And so I did a whole lap around the entire, around the entire cruise ship. And when I came back around, and like, truly, it made an entire lap, I came back around, and I was like, Alright, got it this time. And I, you know, saw her she was still sitting there still on the bench. And I was like, You know what, I'm just gonna I saw her, I was like, I'm gonna walk up. And then I got to about where I would like, start to angle off to go walk over to and I was like, don't feel it right now. And so I turned and I was like, I was like, this seems like a good, a good spot to like, look out over the water while I like pretend, you know that I'm not doing anything other than working up the courage to go talk to this girl. And so I, you know, looked out over the water. And I was like, Okay. And I stood there for like, 45 seconds. And I was like, Okay, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Right. And I eventually I was like, all right, I turned around, I walked on over and I was like, is the seat taken? She said no. And I sat down. And we started talking. And you know, I will call her Jenna right. And I'm not going to air A lot of you know, personal details about her. But she was there with her parents. She was the only like, the only child there. I don't remember if she was an only child, that's not really relevant. But she was the only kid there with her parents. Me, I had my younger sibling and a friend of mine who's about my age, right? And so we just got to talking. And I was like, oh, okay, you know, haha, whatever. And she was like, Oh, it's so good to see, you know, another like, young person and like, talk to somebody. And I was like, Yeah, totally. Again. And I had had, like, you know, I had had my sibling and my friend. Um, but eventually, you know, we talked for like, an hour. And I was like, Alright, well, I gotta go, you know, eat some dinner or whatever I had to go do. And she was like, let me give you my phone number. And I was like, Yes, done, like, easy peasy. I don't know why I struggle with this thing in the first place. And so I got her phone number, and I left, we're like, on the ocean. And so I like left. And then I had this thought I was like, oh, a cell service is not really the most consistent in you know, the ocean near Alaska. I don't know if that, you know, makes sense to anyone. And so I was like, Well, I'm just gonna hope this works out. And so I went and got dinner that night, and you know, whatever. And later that night was probably around nine, 9:30, she texts me and again, miracle went through, she texts me, she was like, Hey, I'm back on our bench. She called it our bench. And I thought that was very cute. She was like, I'm back on our bench if you want to come and hang out, and I was like, Alright, you know what? I'll go. I think it'll, you know, be nice. She's, she's clearly just like, not having a very good time on this trip. And so I was like, yeah, I'll go. And I went, you know, went up there, found my way there and sat down, and she was right there. And we talked for 10-15 minutes. And then she kissed me and I was like, that's kinda awesome. Um, and so I didn't say that naturally. But so I mean, you know, then we made out on that bench and it was you know, a good time. It was cold as shit though. Like, he was you know, like, it was summertime even still it was like in the 60s during the day and so it's at night at sea the boats moving and it was really cold. And so you know, she had a blanket and so we like cuddled up under the blanket and you know, kissed and talked and all that and it was it was great. Right? And so that night you know, and this whatever I'm like, I gotta go to bed it's late go back in especially cuz I'm sharing a room with my parents. I can't keep them up super late and I go back and go to bed awesome. The next day, right day six of seven. Um, she's like she texts me she's like hey, you want to go to the bench? We go to the bench and talk and you know, we ended up like walking around we went to the pool It was great. And that day didn't not a lot happened until dinner. And and on dinner on this boat. There is like a big a big dining hall that everyone sits in unless you get like, you know, like fast, you know, not fast food but like bar food. But like otherwise you just go to the the big Dining Hall, which is great. And it turns out that she and her family sat, like one table over from my family. And so I like, notice that and I would like just every once in a while, like, look over at her a wave or whatever. And you know, is fine and all my, you know, my, my parents and you know, the rest of my party like, ooh, which whatever, I don't really care, I was like, You know what, I'm just having a good time, right. And so day, seven rolls around. And three things happen on day seven, right. And I will, I will tell them in order is number one, the first thing that happens on day seven is we meet up in her room, right, which had never had before in her room was was like, like, smaller than a college dorm. And so we meet up in her room, and we and we made out and you know, second base and all that in there. But otherwise, that was it. The second thing that happened was that we went to the hot tub on day seven, and we had to disembark later that day, and I had already packed most of my clothes, and I had left us set of clothes out. Because I was like, I'm gonna get back from the hot tub, I'm gonna change these will be the clothes I wear when I get off the boat. Right? While we were sitting in the hot tub. And this is this is the third thing that happened. While we're sitting in the hot tub. And we're, you know, talking and talking, I don't even remember how we got onto this, right. But we, you know, like, you can look out through like the windows and see the water. And again, we're on the ocean, so you can look out and just see water for miles and miles. And so we're sitting there, you know, just hanging out talking. And she again, we had gotten like near the topic. And she said to me, Look out, look at look at what do you see? And I was like, I see a bunch of water. And she was like, you don't see a curve, do you? And that was like, that was how she didn't broach that conversation to me about whether or not the earth was flat issue was like, you don't see a curve. Do you? Like that was like the most profound thing that anyone had ever said. And I was truly flabbergasted that that was like a something like I never I understand that there are people who are flat earthers I never met one in real life. And like, I never met one who was a young person, which is astonishing. And so I said way, way, way, way, wait, you certainly are not going to try to tell me that you think the earth is flat? And she was like, Well, I don't know, I just don't think there's a lot of proof. And I don't want to hash out the whole flat earther conversation, you know, again, but like, there are pictures of the Earth from space, and it's a sphere. And that's where I'm going to leave it. And so I was so incredulous. I was like, I don't know how to continue this conversation. And thank goodness, it was day seven. Because that that is a deal breaker no matter what for me, I was like I we are we are like at the moment I get out of your presence, we are not going to interact again. And it was it was good that this was on day seven, because she had told me while we were you know, while we were in the hot tub before she had said this, she was like, Oh, you know, I I feel like you know, if we had met at a different place at a different time, it could have really been something. And I was like, I don't again, don't mean to be mean here. We've known each other for two days. And you live in a state that's like five away from me or whatever. I was like, This is absurd. But whatever. All that happened and we you know, parted ways. And I went back and I went to go change my clothes. And I had found out that my clothes gotten packed up and put away and taken away. And so I had to wear my friend's mom's jeans because there was no other clothing because I had packed up all my clothing except for the clothes that I left out specifically. And my dad had packed them up thinking, Oh, you know, he's got to take care of whatever. Not my favorite moment, but also something that we still joke about to this day. And so we you know, cruise ends we disembark, it's, you know, great, awesome. I get home and like, a week later, I get a message from her on Instagram. And she's like, Hey, how you doing? I was like, Oh, I'm doing good. Weird for you to message me, but I'm doing good. How are you? She was like, Oh, I'm doing good. Just she was like I just miss us. And she was talking like we had dated for like, like eight months or more. And I again, I'm not. I don't want to say anything mean, but in my head. I'm like we did we had a fling for two days on a cruise in Alaska. She was like She was like, Oh, you know, I was like, looking at how I could come down to North Carolina. What? I'm sorry, what? No shot. She was like, Yeah, I could, you know, stay with you no you could not no you could not we are rising seniors do not come down to North Carolina. Absolutely not. Wild, No No. And so I like, you know, triedto do the polite thing and, like, entertained our conversations for probably like, two, three weeks, before, it sort of fizzled out. And I was like, thank goodness, this is over. Because it was crazy. I, I just don't she had such a strong attachment so early. And she was so convinced that like, when she was texting me, she was like, Oh, you know, even if we lose touch, I think that you know, like, like, fate will bring us back together. And again, I don't mean to be mean, right. But we we hung out for like, a total of like five hours. Like that's it. But either way, it was certainly a time. So yes, I had a fling on a cruise ship for three days with a flat earther. And that convinced her that fate was gonna bring us back together in the future.

Hey, real quick, before I tell you my second story, if you liked the podcast, be sure to hit the subscribe button, wherever you're listening, whether that's on Spotify, Google podcasts, or wherever else, you get your podcasts so you'll never miss an episode.

Alright, let's get into my second story. You will never believe me, but I was made the target of a 25 year olds sexual alphabet game. So to clarify what I mean there, that's a list of each letter in the alphabet, where your goal is to have sex with one person whose name starts with every letter of the alphabet. Just to clarify, so it's the summer after my senior year, and I've got this very, very good friend of mine named Caroline, we didn't go to the same high school quite. But we did have a lot of mutual friends from around where I lived. And so Caroline and I would hang out kind of regularly, right. And so it is, um, you know, it is the summer and Caroline text me. We haven't hung out in a while and she goes, Hey, do you want to get um, do you want to get ice cream? And I was like, Yeah, absolutely. I would love to get some ice cream. And she's like, Alright, how does you know? It was like, how does Friday night sound? I was like, that sounds wonderful. She was like, I'll pick you up. It'll be I'll pick you up at this time. It'll be all good. She's like, I'll pick you up at nine. I was like, Great. Awesome. Looking forward to it. And so Friday rolls around, and I get a text from Caroline. And she tells me Oh, it's probably gonna be closer to 9:30 because she was at work. And she was like, oh, by the way, can my can my co worker friend uh Maya come? And I was like, You know what? Yeah, okay. Sure. Oh, my Maya can come along. I think it'll be you know, be a good time, right? I'm not particularly worried about it. And so right around 9:30, Caroline shows up. And I head on out, I get in the back of the car because maya is in the passenger seat. And I'm like, Hey, hey, Caroline. How you doing? Good to see you. Um, and Caroline, you know, starts driving. I'm like, oh, by the way, where are we going? And she was like, oh, we're gonna go to this place called I think it's called sunny skies. And I was like, oh, I've never heard of it. She and Caroline was like, Oh, it's so good. It's out in Angier. And from where I lived at the time, in Cary, angier is an hour drive. And so I was like, Oh, so we're gonna go and our one way to get ice cream and then come in our back. Which is like a long time. But it wasn't my car, my gas. So it wasn't as worried about it. I was more curious about the whole we're doing this with someone that I've never met before. Who you know, then into, like, who introduced herself to me. She was like, Oh, I'm Maya I was like, Oh, nice to meet you. Um, and so we're gonna drive an hour away to get one way to get ice cream. And I was like, okay, whatever, you know, it's gonna be weird, probably. But I think it'll be okay. And most of the time that we spent on the way there, Maya and Caroline, were talking. I don't really mind. Here's the important thing that you need to know about Maya. Maya works at the same story as Caroline, and Maya was a 25 year old. At this point. I'm 20. Or I'm sorry, 18. And Caroline is 18. But maya is 25. Right? Which is I'd argue a lot older. And so the stuff that that Maya is talking about. The other thing that I learned very quickly about Maya is that she will say, whatever. And she doesn't care who knows what about her. I have known her for, you know, five minutes before she's talking about, you know, this and that, and she left her kid at home with her mother. And how her you know, her kid's father isn't in the picture anymore. And not that any of this has a knock on her. Right? I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is she had no fear and what she was willing to say, and what she was willing to share with a stranger. And that's fine. And I don't really care. And her and Caroline seem to get along well, and so I wasn't really minding you know, I was minding my own business. And then they start laughing like hard at something that I didn't hear either I didn't catch it, you know, I was like, either I didn't catch it or it was like, you know, some sort of inside joke. And so I was like, you know, I let it let it roll for a little bit. And then they kept laughing. I was like, Okay, I'm gonna ask, I was like, Alright, what's going on? And Caroline's like, No, no, no, and my eyes like, No, no, no. Which, again, is fine. And I wasn't gonna I push it one more time, because I figured that was like, the polite amount to do it. But otherwise, I was not gonna, you know, what wasn't gonna force myself on their conversation. And, you know, their, their joke or whatever. And I was like, No, no, why? and Caroline was like, I don't know, I don't know. And maya was, like, I think we should show em and at this point, like, That's terrifying, being like, like, I think we should show him and I have no clue, again, I don't know, this person. I don't know what their deal is. And, you know, being that like, secretive about something is is very, both suspicious and scary. And so I was like, Okay, all right, I was like, I'm just gonna let them play it out, whatever they decide I'm cool with. And so eventually, they agree. And Maya pulls up, like her Notes app on her phone and shows me this, this list. And it's got all 26 letters of the alphabet. And then a few of them have names beside them. And I was like, I wonder what this list is. And it didn't have a title. Um, and my aunt told me, she was like, This is the list of the people that I've had sex with. And I was like, okay, didn't really explain the whole, like, there'll be there was like, someone, you know, someone in, you know, D or whatever. And then there's, like, a big gap. And I was, I don't really understand that she was like, Oh, well, I am trying to fill up this whole list and have sex with one person with every, you know, of with that starts with every letter. And I was like, Okay, cool. And I looked for C, and see most certainly was not filled in. And I didn't know she knew my name. But my goal from then forward was to not let her know my name, that was my goal. And I couldn't communicate that to Caroline because A, they'll be rude. And B, I can't really communicate with a woman in the same car. But I was like, you know, what, I'm just gonna, you know, hope that she understands in the way that I talk about things. And so I started talking to Caroline and to my a little bit more, and I was like, Huh, that's crazy. Because C was not filled in. And so I was like, I'm just gonna keep it to myself, and hope that this doesn't become anything. And so we get there. And it's all it's all well, and well and good. And, you know, it is really good ice cream. To be fair, I don't know if it's worth driving an hour with somebody that you don't know, who shows you a list of names of, and the ones that they're missing the letters that they're missing for people to have sex with. And your name could fit in that list, with a 25 year old when you're 18. But I mean, other than that, it's good ice cream. And so, we get there, we have our ice cream, and we're on the way back, we're like 30 minutes back at this point. I'm feeling really good. Because I feel like I've gotten through this night so well. It's been it hasn't even like been an issue. It hasn't come up. I think it's gonna be you know, totally all all good, you know, from this point forward. And then Caroline, like, you know, there's like a moment of silence and then Caroline goes, Oh, cutter um and I was like, No, but I can't say anything. Because why would I? Cuz that'd be weird. And but in my head, I was like, oh, cut like, I was so close. I really didn't want her to know my name. And so now I was like, Oh, so frustrated. And so I was like, Yeah, what and you know, that conversation continued totally as normal like Maya didn't seem to like clock anything or you know, change how she was acting towards me. Which, you know, was to be expected, but it definitely definitely was a you know, like an extra weight. And Caroline had to drop off Maya before she dropped me off. And so Caroline dropped off my and on the way back to my house and Caroline and I, since we didn't talk a lot that night, like sat in my driveway for 45 minutes, right? And as soon as we pull back up to my place, I was like, Caroline, I'm so sorry. But I was like, why'd you say my name? She's like, What do you mean? I'm like, I cannot believe that you just told my name when it fits on this list of a 25 year old with a kid who is trying to have sex with people with, you know, with all these letters, including mine. And Caroline goes, Oh, yeah, I do see that. That's a problem. And so I was like, Oh, that's so like, I was so frustrated, right. But it didn't end up mattering. Until a week later. I got an Instagram dm from this girl that I didn't follow that I didn't even know. And one person I knew follow her. And that was Caroline. And her name was like Maya or like Maya ajacent. And so I was like, Oh, I guess, you know, I figured that's her. And she messaged me, and she's like, Hey, how you doing? Great to meet you. You know, a week ago, I was like, Oh, this is very nice conversation. I was like, Yeah, good to meet you. How you doing? Doing well. And so that, you know, small talk for like a few messages. And she's like, Hey, what are you doing tonight? I don't know this girl. I don't know her. And I do not want to, to engage in this. And so I was like, I'm just gonna try to deflect I was like, Oh, I got you know, whatever. I was like, Oh, I got a family thing. I was like, but what's up? Because I'm also curious. And she was like, Oh, I was just gonna see if you want to hang out. I don't know her. I don't want to hang out. I'm not I don't know her at all. But I was like, Okay, you know what, whatever. This is just what I'm gonna, you know, just gonna hope that this bubbles over. And she messaged me, you know, again, two days later, she was like, Hey, what are you up to tonight? And I was like, I don't know that I have another excuse. I was like, oh, not a lot. Why? She was like, do you want to hang out? I was like, Oh, I mean, it's kind of late. And I got a curfew at I don't know, I made up like 11:30. I was like, Oh, this I've got a curfew and all that. She was like, Oh, that's too bad. And like, sound like the winky face. And I was like, oh, okay, I know what the game is now. Right. I know, I get it. But nothing I can do. Again, nothing I can do. And so I was like, Oh, yeah, sorry. I don't even think I said that. I think it was like, Oh, you know, oh, well, I was like, I'm just gonna try to not show interest. And again, there's this little little voice in my head that was like, but if you show disinterest, this is going to be over. And so I was like, all right. I mean, and that's, you know, not the best reasoning, but I was like, I'm just gonna play this as like, flat as possible. And then she messaged me a few days later, she was like, Hey, I can pick you up tonight. And then it clicked in my head that she knew my address, because she had been to my house because she was in the car when Caroline came and picked me up. And I was like, Oh, no, that's bad. Cuz I was like, that's like, that was my next excuse that I was gonna use as I was like, I don't have a car. But she had my address, that means she could just show up. And it didn't mean that she could just show up after asking me that she could show up any time and I was like, Okay, let's not, you know, let's not entertain this any longer. And I was like, Oh, I don't know, that doesn't, you know, I was like, Oh, I don't really think I'd be interested in that. And she was like, No, you don't think so? And then like, like, sent like, not a nude but like a suggestive picture. And I was like, Whoa, and you know, I get it. I get it. Getting unsolicited nudes or unsolicited, like sexy pictures is not fun. And so I was like, ah, nope, no, no, I was like, I stopped responding. I was like, I'm not even going to open it. She didn't message me again. After that. I'm guessing because I left her on seen. And I think that was enough. But it was one of the wildest moments because I was like, not only does she know where I live, she's a 25 year old and a 25 year old with a kid and has now sent me a suggestive picture. I was like, I cannot enter like, I cannot let this get any worse. And if she had messaged me I would've been like, you got to stop talking to me. I would I would have lied about my age or something. Because I was like, I we were hitting a point where I was like, I cannot even let this like pretend to be something that I pretend to think about. But that was my second story. I was made the target of a 25 year old sexual alphabet game. And then she followed up with me several times after. So those are my two stories for this You'll never believe me, but after dark mini series, one where I had a fling on a cruise ship with a flat earther that she thought was fate. And another where I was made the target of a 25 year olds alphabetical list of sexual encounters after she tagged along to a hangout with a friend. That will do it for this episode, the first episode of afterdark. Our intro music is Pop Nugget off of compositions to be used under the Creative Commons license found on Free Music Archive. Our actual music is vintage news our production music used under the Creative Commons license also found on Free Music Archive. I've been Cutter. This has been You'll never believe me but after dark and thank you all for listening. Good night.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai